hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
