Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
