Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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