There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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