Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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