can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
