I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
