I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
