I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
