it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
