I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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