I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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