capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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