just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
Randomize
