I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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