How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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