She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
