Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
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