he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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