Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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