so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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