i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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