you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
