there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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