Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
too bad you live with your parents still
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
