im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
