I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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