Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
