It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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