I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
