I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
