I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
