I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
