She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
