At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
