Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
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