Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
