two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
