I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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