Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
