He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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