I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
