uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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