He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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