Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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