Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
