I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
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