I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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