ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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