everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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