come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
