Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
3pm strippers are depressing
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Randomize
