Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
two words: eviction party
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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